"Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati"

When autopsy turvey was born, it seemed as though her parents had been blessed with a wonderful, perfectly normal baby girl. That impression, however, did not last. At an age where most girls are playing Barbies, dress-up and house, "topsy" was busy mutilating every barbie and stuffed animal in the house. when she was reprimanded she would fly into a rage, throwing herself as hard as she could into her parents, doors, and even solid walls. Her mother only became seriously worried when topsy, with no more toys to cut on and dismember, began eyeing the family pets and neighborhood children... Rather than watch her little girl either become a psychopathic monster or be taken away and institutionalized, her mother locked Topsy in a small padded room in their basement, with the hopes of one day finding a way to heal her daughter's fractured mind. She tried music, painting aromatherapy, primal scream, acupuncture and even shock treatment in her attempts to soothe topsy's savage nature and violent outbursts. Years passed with no progress until in one last ditch effort topsy was put into a pair of roller skates and allowed to attend a roller derby practice. Her change was immediate and dramatic. With an outlet for her violent tendencies Topsy is now able to reenter mainstream society and live as a normal human being. Although we still try to keep her away from sharp objects.